Trumpland: My Glasgow coffee shop has banned US food

10 hours ago , by Richard Lutz

RICHARD LUTZ’s local deli gets all political

My coffee shop, called Cuku, has gone a bit cuckoo over President Trump.

The owner, Billy, has taken a stand and taken all American produce off his shelves.

To wit, away goes the Coke. And in comes Palestinian cola. Out go, in fact, all US produce, from canned goods to wine to be replaced by goods from…well, anywhere else really. He’s had it with perceived American aggression under the present White House.

So, in my small corner of Glasgow, I guess you can say Trump has been trumped. By Billy.

“Why am I doing this?” he asks my local paper The Herald. Seems like he’s more than happy to supply a ready answer: “Our friends in America and Israel are kicking the s**t out of everybody in Palestine and the surrounding area. People are being killed right left and centre for no good reason.”

Billy’s solution is to stop buying American. So far, only one customer has objected- she cancelled an order for a cappuccino.

Of course, to hyper-locals like me who live right near, Billy has always had a political edge to his city cafe (or ‘caff’ as they like to call it on this fading isle set in a silver sea). He has a political hot corner where topics of the day are aired and he’s not hesitant about calling how his establishment feels about things.

That said, it’s one thing to slap up a poster in a deli window and another to ban a cash earner like Diet Coke from your shelves.

Now, as for that Palestine drink. I bought a can:

Gurgled it down with my tuna casserole.

Ignoring the pull tab that snapped leaving me to use a hammer and chisel to open the can, it’s ok, very similar to Orangina, that fizzy French drink. And if you’re missing your hit of Coke, it’s safe to say when you examine the minuscule writing on the side that it’s full of the inscrutable additives that we all enjoy so much.

So, as the Palestine cola fair flies off Billy’s shelves giving Scotland’s favourite soft drink (Irn Bru) a good run for its money, I guess Trumpy is shaking in his golf shoes.

Since his demented shenanigans change so fast, so maniacally, it’s hard to comment. I wake up to find his navy has knocked out an Iranian cargo ship because it dared to leave its own port, and that Tehran is threatening to unleash drones at the US blockade.

Trump, meanwhile, is sending his delegates to Pakistan to continue peace talks. But the Iranis won’t be there. Meanwhile Israel continues to level Lebanon. (Note from editor: this will all change within a nano second).

Billy, meanwhile, says his next target is to right the wrongs aimed at North Americans natives (Apaches, Comanches, Sioux, et al), who were systematically wiped out by the surge westwards. Roll on, William.

Quick, hand me another can of Palestine throat cleaner.