Trump exclusive: I’ll give NATO the red card
July 7, 2026, 10:40 am , by Richard Lutz
Our diplomatic editor Sir Howard Elston sits down with the US Prez
Sir Howard: So nice of you to waddle in and have a chat, Lord Trump.
Trump: Cut the crap. Our soccer stars are losers. They can’t even score a touchdown. And there I was ready to cheat for them and they can’t even kick a ball.
Sir Howard: Now that you’ve been seen as a complete dickhead, what’s your next step?
Trump: I’m sacking that jerk-off loser manager Coach Pound of Cherries and the whole team and then dismantling NATO to help out my pal.
Sir Howard: Your pal being…?
Trump: Putin.
Sir Howard: Vlad the Bad? The mass murderer who’s killed tens of thousands in the Ukraine?
Trump: Now there’s a dude who knows how to fight. Should have hired him to manage those red card idiots who lost to a bunch of Belgian waffles.
Sir Howard: Lord Trump, always a pleasure to sit down and meander through your fetid mind.
Trump: I appreciate your kind words. Now off to Torquay to meet those foreign Euro nutjobs who can’t speak American.
Sir Howard: What’s your priority?
Trumpie: Firstly-wise, I’ll stand by my pledge and take back Nebraska and make it the fifty first state. Then, I’ll cut NATO’s weekly allowances and send those Euro losers home to their sausages, their cravats, French fries, weird movies and polka dances.
Sir Howard: A measured response, Mr President and always a pleasure. Ciao…
Trump: No…I’m on a diet.
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Martin McCrindle
That’s so close to reality it’s becoming confusing.
Bill
On the mark.
There’s a nutjob in chief and I think we know who he is! Trump obviously doesn’t realise that the one thing designed to ruffle feathers all over the sane world is interfere with our football (never soccer🤬!!). That FIFA let him trample over them is worse than shocking.
We can only hope that the elimination of the US will change his plan to attend the final. Then again, his welcome in the Azteca Stadium might be worth seeing!
Will Travel
The world as we know it
Fiona Gee
Bang on
I McD
Disturbingly real ……….. If it’s a dream I hope we wake up soon.
Lee Thomas
The problem is Infantino makes money for the FIFA. He is good at it. He won’t lose his job if he continues to please the money men , no matter what dubious decisions he undertakes
Laurel in Arizona
It just gets weirder and weirder over here
Bella Giuston
Made me smile!
Bill Lutz
Well, one can’t disagree too much with his assessment of the US side. They went down like a fiery comet without the flash!
Ed Burke
More on Trump and football (aka soccer)
https://substack.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.VOf-sqhy4PjnO5l7DaIeXbwEW8yDDJ8sGgCmkMMGt_4?
William Rice
It becomes clearer every day now, that Trump is severely cognitively impaired and obviously not capable of performing the job. The 25th amendment is available to be used along with Article 2 Section 4 in order to get rid of the entire criminal enterprise that is the Trump regime. The world may stand in the balance.
A patriot
I don’t think the country has ever been in a more dangerous place.
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