Trump: convicted felon lays down the law

A day ago , by Richard Lutz

The US prez unburdens himself as he unleashes his war against immigrants. He sits down with our insider Sir Howard Elston:

Sir Howard: I should enlighten my readers, Mr Convicted Felon President, by saying we went to school together way back when. Great to catch up.

Convicted Felon: That’s right Howie, back when you were a snivelling little twerp and vice chairman of the chess club and I was king of the locker room bullies.

SH: And since you were unceremoniously booted out of thirteen schools during your early years, it was quite a journey.

Convicted Felon: Those schools were a rat’s nest of far left loonies, full of spies, anarchists and…

SH: Let’s move on. As a convicted criminal in The White House and found guilty of 32 charges of fraud, you now call the immigrants a bunch of illegals. That’s rich…

Convicted Felon: Hey, it’s not me jumping over our fences. Not me swimming cross the Rio Grande. I worked hard to defraud the law. These lazy immigrants are swamping our country. I was framed by Biden’s judges but these freeloading illegals are plaguing our great states.

SH: But if they’re kicked out, who picks our lettuces and soya beans? They are the backbone of our farms. They say fifty percent of agricultural labourers are not legally working here.

Convicted Felon: Not 50%. That’s Biden’s lies. More like half. And most of them are using our lands of plenty for growing drugs and living off welfare after they’ve done their weekly 100 hours of picking our god-given American crops.

SH: So as a convicted felon, you are attacking illegals immigrants who are bolstering our farming industry. I get it, Prez. Let’s move on…

Convicted Felon: Mention the Constitution and you get the Proud Boys outside your home.

SH: You want to stop all foreign wars involving American troops.

Convicted Felon: Our brave boys on land, sea and that other thing.

SH: And use them to invade Greenland and Panama and probably Canada.

Convicted Felon: To protect Americans. We have a god-given right, so help me Musk, to attack any nation that threatens our need to expand and I will use any weapon to protect our American pledge to defend the fatherland into my third term.

SH: (pulling the plug on the microphone) Mr President, it has been an honour interviewing you and the rest of the reich and wish your regime well.

(This article has been funded by DeepSeek which in no way whatsoever tells Sir Howard what to do or say)