Revealed: The wonderful world of WhatsApp

October 24, 2021, 10:31 am , by Howard

Sir Howard Elston, media guru of the free world, uncovers the digi-secrets of The Snitterfield Road chat group

Unexpurgated transcripts from the site for sore eyes. Here are highlights:

Annie: Has anyone seen the bird singing away in the tulip tree outside 57 this AM

Carl: A bullfinch?

Archie: duz a bfinch got a pink breast?????!!!!

Annie: More salmon than pink

Liz: Hi, I’m 87. Does anyone want to walk my Labrador called Tushie?

Iqbal: Man hit by car outside the Asda two mins ago. Police on way

Carl: Hurt….?

Aaron: in pain. Attended by the nail bar manager from Cute Tickles

Annie: Any Name yet? 😕😕

Sue: of the guy hit by car? OMG, he’s still lying outside the Co op. how callous.

Annie: No, name of the bird, for gods sake

(Carl has left the group)

07836 561328: Police say its a man in his mid twenties.

Brian: Wasn’t that the age of the crook Police say was breaking into garages last week?

Iqbal: Someone nicked my glazed geranium pot. Could be that guy? Wheres he from?

Anna: Best seen at woodland edges

Iqbal: the hit and run guy?

Brian: the nail bar manager.

Annie: no, the bullfinch

Muriel: Hello, I’m Muriel and just starting on the WhatsApp after my over-75’s Go Digital class. Am I doing it Right?

Vye: Yes, except the word ‘right’ doesn’t begun with a cap R

JimmyB: A big yes, it is a bullfinch because the head is bulbous and it’s salmon. NOT PINK.

(07836 561328 has left the group. Allyson has joined)

Allyson: Anyone know whose car this is😕😕😕😕😕😕😕😚😚😚😚😚

it’s xcross my drive parked dangerously And I’m taking Coltrane and Miles to the vets for their shampoo and pet massage. Really Urgent

Jerry: Car’s mine

Allyson: And?

Jerry: And I’m in Tenerife

Allyson: I guess thinking of others is a little above yr pay grade then, Gary?

Jerry: I’m back next Tuesday. And the names Jerry.

Liz: Hi, I’m 87. Does anyone want to walk my Labrador called Tushie.

Archie: Full set of Happy Hooker books (hardback) to give away.

Monica: As founding Secretary of the group, I think we should self edit some inclusions.

(Archie has left the group)

Muriel: HeLO, I’ll take the HaPPy Hooker books.

Monica: DM me now

( Vye has left the group. Rafa has joined)

Liz: Hi, I’m 87. Does anyone want to walk my Labrador called Tushie.

Annie: Seen second bullfinch. are more than one called ‘a bellowing’

Rafa: no, a convocation

Brian: that’s the eagles

Iqbal: love their music

Sherry: Hardly Sam Fender

Jez: Big round of applause for the Golden Shower Charity marathon swim. All donations to The Snitterfield Baths.🏊🏊🏊

George: that crappy pool with the dirty changing rooms?

Tyra: it’s an historic Late Victorian slice of municipal urban architecture Lets save it!!!!!!!!!!

Cressida: love it. it just shows how community minded we all are here on lovely Snitterfield Road. Big clap.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💝💝. Big luv. We’re sooooo lucky.

Liz: Hi, I’m 87. Does anyone want to walk my Labrador called Tushie.

(Muriel, Annie, Brian, Iqbal, George, Sherry, Archie, Tyra and Cressida have left the group. Anyone wanting to join the Walk Tushie WhatsApp sub group should DM Liz ASAP)