Sir Howard double exclusive: sitdowns with Trumpie and Boris !!!
March 22, 2023, 7:16 am , by Richard Lutz
Our investigative editor Lord Sir Howie Elston with another shock piece of reportage
I am sitting in my Washington redoubt encircled (writes Sir Howard Elston) by television monitors and a team of researchers as I try to edit my double exclusive: back to back interviews with crackpot Don Juan ‘Hush-money’ Trump and direct from London, England the equally bonkers Boris Johnson. First, the Prez:
Me: Don…my man…
Trump: How you doing Howie, still using my Hawaii chalet?
Me: We’ll get to that later. First, let’s talk about that nifty ‘tache!!
Trump: I want to lie low with other fellow freedom loving millionaires who want freedom to avoid the law…
Me: Mr Disgraced ex President, didja pay secret hush-money to a pornstar as alleged by…well, everyone?
Trump: That’s a leading question from the fake news media!! The question is that America wants a debt ridden buffoon for President. And I’m their man.
Me: So, no hush-money to a hush-money grabbing porn star as stated by your hush-money carrying personal lawyer?
Trump: The peoples of these great Untied States will take to the streets and….
Me: Piss off Don (turns to camera) and now for our second 1-2-1… to London for a Zoom chat with another political clown in the news. Boris Johnson, did you lie to Parliament and your fellow MPs time after time after time after..
Boris: I didn’t pay hush-money to that porn star. We were just friends…now I have to go to Westminster to lie my head off and explain why I lied for the benefit of these great British Isles (he exits followed by a coterie of ex lovers, girlfriends, wives and intimate friends…)
Me: And that’s it from Elston Studios. Tomorrow, would you buy a second hand car from Mr Elon Musk. Good night for now…
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Martin
Scurrilous! It’s blogs like this that catastrophically weaken our faith in our countries’ leaders. Appalling.
Keep it up!
Alan Holland
A slap on the wrist for both of them. Yes, their opponents want to make political capital out of BoJo fibbing and Trump hushing but I’ll bet nearly all their accusers have skeletons in the cupboard and aren’t they hard to keep contained these days!
Judge not lest ye be judged.
In the great scheme of things do either really matter? Lots of outrage, but who died? Any argument about character and suitability for high office etc. is farcical. Both administrations are full of self serving psychopaths, these two just happened to be more ruthless than the others. Having said that, they both are appalling characters, given time they would have destroyed themselves anyway but I fear that this action may only encourage their followers and backfire on those seeking to keep them down.
Blair and Bush launched a conflict that killed and continues to kill millions. Blair misled Parliament. WMDs?? Er, anyone going to arraign them?
Colin
https://youtu.be/VdQY7BusJNU
Amie Mallon
How pleasing to see Sir H has returned from his recent holiday.
The Duke and Duchess anticipate meeting Sir H at the Coronation, where they will fulfil their hereditary role as keepers and threaders of the Royal Knicker Elastic.
Jim Burke
There is far too much law for those who can afford it and far too little for those who cannot. -Derek Bok, lawyer and educator (b. 22 Mar 1930)
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